


Lavender and Blue

by CeNedraRiva



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aromantic Hannah, Aromantic Meg Masters, Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Asexual Character, Asexual Hannah, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Childhood Friends, Cults, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Grey-Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, Love at First Sight, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Natural Disasters, Other, Past Drug Use, humanitarian issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 01:44:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeNedraRiva/pseuds/CeNedraRiva
Summary: Hannah had always been rather close to Castiel. Growing up together would do that. They had been neighbours since they were children, when his family moved to her small town from New York.Fast friends, they were close enough to be brother and sister. They shared everything. Hopes. Fears. Joys and despairs too.One thing they had never shared, however, was crushes. Not because they were shy, or anything like that. Simply because neither of them had any.





	Lavender and Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Asexual Supernatural Mini Bang, with art by fvckingcastiel

Hannah had always been rather close to Castiel. Growing up together would do that. They had been neighbours since they were children, when his family moved to her small town from New York.

Fast friends, they were close enough to be brother and sister. They shared everything. Hopes. Fears. Joys and despairs too.

One thing they had never shared, however, was crushes. Not because they were shy, or anything like that. Simply because neither of them had any.

Generally, school was pretty fun. Hannah liked learning, and what’s more, she was good at it. She loved playing with numbers, and science was absolutely fascinating. English class was less exciting, but that was mainly because she didn’t like the books they studied in class. Art was fun, and sports ED always left her happily exhausted. Her teachers were, by and large, pleased with her academic prowess, which left her parents pretty happy too.

Cas, however, was a bit more rebellious in class. He was a precocious boy, one who didn’t shy away from correcting teachers whenever he felt they had gotten their facts wrong. It wouldn’t be so much of an issue if he could at least be polite about it, which itself was a problem because Cas struggled with being polite on a normal day. Forcing him to watch as his fellow classmates were mis-educated seemed to raise his hackles like nothing else, and an irritated Castiel was a rude Castiel. Hannah loved him, she really did, but it was obvious why he got in trouble so often.

Cas may have been her longest friendship, but he was by no means her only friend. Anna was an artist, and she wanted to know everything about everything. Hester had decided she was going to be a doctor when she grew up. Jo wanted to be a famous chef, and already she made the best cookies of anyone Hannah knew. Amara was a little intense sometimes, but Hannah just knew she would one day be the President. Together with Cas, they were some of her favourite people in the entire world.

Despite how much she loved them, Hannah found there were many times she didn’t understand her friends. Normally they were rather sensible girls, but get them onto the subject of boys and they all went unbearably squealy. By the time they were in middle school, they could barely go more than an hour without at least mentioning a boy. It was incredibly frustrating. For some reason, boys just made them all stupid, and no matter how many times Hannah told them she was bored of it, they always had something new to say.

At least Cas was on her wavelength. He didn’t get it either. In fact, whenever they were sleeping over at each other’s houses, it was one of the things that always came up. Why was everyone around them so obsessed with hotness? His friend Balthazar was always talking about how hot Miss Talbot was, or otherwise talking about how awesome making out with Ruby was. For that matter, why were Ruby and Balthazar even dating? They hated one another. It was baffling.

People did always ask if she and Cas were dating, though. Hannah wasn’t sure how to answer that. Where was the line between best friends and dating? They went on coffee dates alone all the time, and went to the cinema together. Sometimes, if they had money, they would go mini-golfing and once Cas had convinced her to try rock climbing. Most days they would go on walks after school, out across the farm fields or down by the river. Jo said that was all stuff couples did, but Hannah wasn’t so sure. What made a walk romantic, anyway?

Amara, in her quietly perceptive way, said it was all about subtext. The romance part came from being interested in dating the other person, and that was what made a walk with your friend and a walk with your crush different. Hannah supposed it made sense, but since she was already different with Cas than all her other friends it didn’t really help her to tell if they were dating. They were already pretty comfortable being in each other’s space, hugging and snuggling together on the bed and stuff. It didn’t have to be couple-y.

They did try kissing once, actually. Cas had wondered if their friends had a point, saying they were practically dating already. Many of their afternoons were spent in each other’s company, and they were partners at every school dance. Hannah had to admit, if she was going to date someone there was no one better than Cas. He was her best friend, and one of the kindest, cleverest, and most caring people she knew.

The kiss itself was okay, but sort of boring. Wet in an unpleasant way. Trying to bring tongues into the kiss was worse. They were all weird and wriggly. In the end she’d cringed away.

Cas, when she met his eyes, had had a similar grimace in his face. They’d both taken a gulp of sweet tea, before putting the whole kissing experiment behind them.

So, they couldn’t be dating. Neither of them wanted to kiss, and wasn’t that one of the main bits of dating?

Of course, that didn’t stop other people from having crushes on her or Cas. It actually got to be a real nuisance sometimes, like when Inias didn’t believe her saying she wasn’t interested in him and kept trying to talk to her during their lunchbreak. Hannah hadn’t minded the talking at first, since he was an interesting person and the only one she knew who watched her favourite show (Cas just got annoyed by all the plot holes and bad science), but apparently Inias thought her talking back was flirting or something, because he always turned the conversation around to asking her out. It made her both nervous and annoyed, especially because he liked to try and hold her hands whenever he asked. Once he even tried to kiss her, and that had been enough.

Her other friends had agreed that Inias should just give up, but then they’d turn around and keep twittering about how obviously it meant she was just irresistible. It made their sympathy feel really disingenuous. Cas had been the only one who understood her discomfort at his attention, having been on the receiving end of several unwanted admirers himself. Actually he’d gotten really angry Inias wouldn’t drop it, glaring whenever the other boy tried to approach her. Even then, Inias still attempted to talk with her if Cas wasn’t nearby.

So Hannah lied. She explained that reason she wasn’t interested was because she was in love with Cas, and that they were dating.

Amazingly, that worked.

Cas didn’t mind. In fact he was happy to help, and it had the added benefit of keeping Rachel from asking him out too. It wasn’t any great sacrifice to pretend if it meant people would leave them in peace.

* * *

 

The first time Hannah understood the dangers of the natural world was when she was seven years old. Dozens of tornados had torn across the country, some even travelling through her home state of Kansas. The tv had been on showing news reports about the damage, as well as updated weather maps and warning zones. She could remember her mother asking for her help as they moved tinned food to the basement. Upstairs her father had been securing the windows. Castiel’s family, still new to this part of the country, had been hiding in the house alongside them.

In the end, no tornado had even come near their little town, but something about the whole experience had shaken her to her core. There were actual, real people, people who didn’t really live that far away from her, who were now living in ruin. The water was all mixed up with rubble, and the roads were blocked. The tornados had taken nearly everything from them. Some of them had even lost their families to the tornadoes.

These were complicated feelings for a seven year old to process, even alongside her best friend. It was…overwhelming. The fear. The grief of it all.

She remembered weeping. Clutching at Cas while she waited for things to get better, except things only seemed to get worse.

It was Castiel’s elder sister Nomi who eventually helped Hannah to bear it all. Even so young, Nomi was a kind, wise soul. She gathered them both close as their parents were busy. Nomi was the one who told them to look for the helpers, the selfless people acting to support each other and endure.

Sure enough, there they were.

And suddenly, there was one thing Hannah was absolutely certain of.

Hannah wanted to help. She wanted to be one of them, and provide succour to whoever was in need.

It wasn’t the only natural disaster she witnessed as she grew up, and Hannah found her new passion for helping others quickly developed into a steady flame. There were so many people who needed help! So much suffering was in the world. If they were only kinder, more understanding, then surely there was a way to move past this all and live together in peace.

It was just…how could people be so cruel to each other? How could such an advanced country still be so backwards that some kinds of love were illegal? How could anyone close their heart to the peoples of Syria? Or Flint? How could there still be children trapped in poverty, children waiting to be adopted, children driven from their homes?

At sixteen, she was well-versed in modern humanitarian issues, and spent an hour a week raising money for refugees. She made petitions fighting for natives’ rights on the weekends, and campaigned for black lives matter and the woman’s march and Pride throughout the year.

Castiel, while he wanted to help people too, was much more enthusiastic about saving the bees. The flowers, too. And then he found out about climate change. In short, by the time Castiel was sixteen he was well known across town for giving out unsolicited advice about how to be more environmentally friendly.

Hannah was lucky. Her parents, while somewhat bemused by her vehemence, were happy to help her help the world. Apart from the occasional question about her dating life, they were the best parents she could have asked for. Of course, that bemused acceptance began to disappear the first time she got arrested for protesting. A harmless hobby suddenly had consequences, and while they didn’t forbid her from activism, they did strongly discourage it.

Cas’s parents were not as understanding.

Magda Shurley, his mother, was a harsh woman. She demanded respect, and insisted on success for her children. Hannah had no idea why Magda would have agreed to move from New York to such a small town in the middle of nowhere. Secretly, she thought maybe there had been some sort of scandal or disgrace or something like that. Castiel didn’t know either, since they had moved when he was around four, and Nomi never spoke about it.

In short, the problem was that Magda wanted Castiel to join the army, like her brother. Castiel thought joining the army was a horrific waste of his ability to do good in the world, and that the concept of military force being used as a positive influence in global politics was inherently flawed. It led to many arguments.

Cas used to sneak into Hannah’s room whenever her parents were being particularly stubborn, or whenever he and Magda had gotten into another argument. They used to chat all night, plan out their futures together, saving the world. It wasn’t uncommon for them to wake up curled together in her bed, all warm and comfy. Cas would have to try and sneak back out without alerting her parents, but it was worth it.

Thinking back, it was obvious her parents had noticed Cas sneaking in and out. They had never been as subtle as they thought when they were teens, and half the time her mum would have heard them talking though the walls anyway.

* * *

 

College had been a difficult time, with them both going to different cities. Cas had ended up halfway across the country, alone in the big city, while Hannah remained behind. At first, everything had been great. Well, not great, not with Cas so far away, but it was fun, and new, and interesting, even if she did miss him dearly.

Then, Cas had begun to call less often. It had seemed gradual at the time, but looking back, the transition couldn’t have been more than a few months. It was difficult enough timing their calls with the difference in time zones, and suddenly Cas was putting off their meetings pushing them further back. The calls they did make were shorter, and Cas more abrupt.

Hannah had recognised that he was lying, she knew him well enough to read the tells, but she had always assumed he would reveal all soon. They shared everything. She couldn’t fathom Cas hiding anything from her for too long.

Then the calls stopped.

It was difficult not to feel hurt by it. Cas never responded, no matter which way she tried to contact him. He never reached out, not even to his family. For all intents and purposes, he was gone.

In the end, he was lost for over a year. And then one day, without any warning, Hannah had found him at her door, Meg by his shoulder. Of course, she let them in. Let him fall into exhausted sleep upon her sofa. Let Meg putter around her apartment, fiddling with things and making sure Cas was comfortable.

Cas gave no details of the time before, simply stating that it was over.

He was safe.

He was clean.

And he wasn’t ever going to leave her side again.

* * *

 

Cas came back quiet. Timid, nearly, though it was obvious he did his utmost to conceal it. Most of the time, he barely smiled, barely reacted at all, always under control. The times he did speak with too much passion, his eyes would widen with what she thought was fear. It was obvious something had happened while he was away, something bad.

The thought of it made Hannah ache right down to her bones.

Occasionally, she would get flashes of the old Cas, hear the man rambling on nearly poetic about the mating cycles of green tree frogs, or the various breeds of chicken he knew. Even then, he was different. There was an edge to his words, and his hands would tremble. Trying to get him to talk about anything serious in those times was worse than pulling teeth. Cas was just as likely to sprint away to hide.

Meg helped. She’d been the one to bring Cas home in the first place, the one who got him out of whatever they’d been doing. She’d gotten him clean. When he moved back to Hannah, Meg had followed, sardonic and fiercely protective. All Hannah really knew of her from before was that she had been part of Cas’s old crowd, leaning to the shady side. Cas assured Hannah countless times that Meg had a heart of gold, but personally, she was entirely sure it was wrapped up in black smoke and hellfire.

Hannah wasn’t exactly sure when her animosity for Meg had flipped into fondness. The other woman was abrasive, hedonistic, and occasionally she was even cruel, but there was also something very pure about her too. Despite everything, they had bonded quickly. If there was one thing they agreed on, it was that Cas was something special. Even broken, healing painfully and slowly, Cas was radiant. Meg spent the majority of her free time hanging out with them both. When Cas was acting cold or withdrawn, she would entice him back out, get him to start reacting, smiling again. When Cas was talking too much, she would listen, ask questions, let him escape whatever bad memory was consuming him.

Eventually, Hannah had been able to glean a few details from Meg about what had happened to Cas.

Someone had gotten hurt. Badly.

Hannah wasn’t sure of the specifics, exactly. Suffice to say, during his time at university Cas had fallen in with the wrong sort of crowd. It wasn’t unbelievable. He could be rather naïve when on his own, and once Cas’s trust was given he was loyal. As he moved closer to them, he’d begun to fall out of contact with her. At the time, it had been the most exquisite pain she had ever experienced. Her best friend, her Cas, abandoning her to a new town and moving on with new friends. Better friends. Replacing her.

Now, afterwards, she knew he never called because he’d been too high to remember much beyond his own name. She knew they’d gotten him taking harder stuff than marijuana, the scars on his arms showed that much. She knew they were a cult, that they’d gotten Cas to do bad things, things that gave him nightmares.

Thinking of them was the only time Hannah considered breaking her vow of pacifism. Meg had laughed when she shared that, and offered to back her up.

* * *

 

Hannah had been the first to bring up marriage. By then, they had already been living together for about three years, and neither of them had ever had an interest in dating any person they had ever met. Both their parents had been convinced they were dating since high school, no matter what they said to the contrary. Magda had been hinting about grandchildren for nearly as long.

Cas had agreed they might as well. They understood each other well. Neither of them wanted sex, or even kissing, they loved each other deeply, and enjoyed each other’s company. What more did a marriage need? They could always adopt a child, if it came up.

Cas proposed at their favourite Italian place, a little bistro in the middle of the city. Everyone around them applauded as Hannah accepted the white sapphire ring. They’d celebrated with some of Cas’s honeyed pastries.

No one was really that surprised when they announced the engagement, except maybe Amara. Cas’s friend Meg made a heap of lewd comments about bed-rocking, while Balthazar smirked. Apparently, the reason he had a black eye by the end of the night was because he made a rather vulgar joke about Cas being hot enough to thaw ice queens close enough for Jo to overhear. Their parents were pleased, of course.

They were only two months away from actually getting married when everything changed.

Cas met a man called Dean.

* * *

 

Hannah first met Dean about two hours after he’d met Cas. They were sitting together at the kitchen table, grinning as they shared lemonade and Cas’s specialty, salt honey pie.

“Oh! Hello.” She said, more of a startled response to a stranger in her house than true courtesy.

Cas started, before turning to her with the same grin. Dean looked more embarrassed, trying to stifle his own grin and surreptitiously wipe away crumbs.

“Hannah! Meet my new friend, Dean!” Cas beamed. Dean shifted to stand, offering her his hand.

“Hannah. You’re Cas’s fiancé, right?”

“Uh, yes. Yes, I am,” she replied, taking his hand. His grip was firm, confident.

“You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you. We decorated together.”

Dean retreated to sit across from Cas once more, leaving Hannah standing at the edge of the room. After a second, she followed, taking the chair beside Cas. Cas smiled at her, moving to tangle his fingers with hers, before turning back to regard Dean.

“So, how did you meet?” Hannah asked.

Cas leaned back in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Dean smirked in response.

“Cas here saved my life.”

“What? Really?” In all honesty, she would never have guessed that.

“Yep. There I was, being one of those classic idiots walking around with earphones in. Normally it wouldn’t matter, with a green man lit up, but some bastard decided to run the light. O’course I can’t hear a thing, and I’m already midway across the road when someone slams into me, practically throwing me into the pavement. I’m completely winded, and just about to start tearing into this guy for knocking me down, but suddenly we’re surrounded by cheers. This idiot—“ Dean crooked his thumb towards a thoroughly embarrassed Cas—“lunged halfway across a road, running in front of a moving truck, just to get me out of the way.”

“It wasn’t as dangerous as he’s making it out to be.”

“If anything, I’m freaking understating it!”

“Dean!”

“Come on, Cas. Just admit it, you couldn’t stand the thought of this beautiful face being off the market!”

Hannah blinked, looking to Cas. Unexpectedly, he was actually blushing! Biting his lip, too. He was nervous.

“What? No. T-that isn’t—“

“Don’t worry, man, I’m just teasin’. You’re a lucky woman, Hannah. Cas is awesome.”

“Yes, I know he is.” Perhaps her tone was a little sharper than she intended.

Dean blinked, before dropping his eyes to his hands. An uncomfortable silence began to permeate the room, one that Hannah quickly realised only felt uncomfortable to her. Dean and Cas were quite happy to frequently exchange small smiles and blushes, even if they weren’t speaking.

Thankfully, it was only a few minutes before Dean’s phone began to beep. He startled, before going to check his messages with a sigh. A moment later, he shifted to stand.

“Well, I’d better get goin’. Benny’ll be wonderin’ where I got to.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Cas said.

Hannah was left at the table as Cas eagerly escorted their guest to the door. She heard a muffled conversation before the door closed, and Cas wandered back over.

Hannah frowned. There was something different about him. Wistful, almost. Even now, a small smile crooked the corner of his mouth.

“What were you talking about just now?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes, Dean invited me to share a cup of coffee on Friday as a thank you.” Even Cas’s voice seemed lighter.

“You like him, then?”

“He’s a brilliant person, Hannah. He works at that mechanics over near Meg’s house, but he’s currently taking night lessons at the community college to train as a technical engineer. He wants to design eco-friendly muscle cars, isn’t that great?”

“That sounds amazing, Cas.” Again, she couldn’t quite muster the right enthusiasm. Cas frowned, taking the chair beside her and cradling her hand in his.

“Do you not like him, Hannah?”

“What? Of course I do. He’s your new friend.”

“You’re grimacing.”

“He seems like a very nice person, Cas.”

Cas’s frown seemed to deepen, his head tilting to one side as he studied her.

“Is it something at work? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing, Cas. I’m just tired.”

“Really?”

“If it was, I would tell you. You know that.”

Cas didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t ask any further, leaning forwards to place a kiss on her cheek. Hannah sighed, tangling their fingers together.

She wasn’t sure what exactly was bothering her. Dean may be a little flirtaceous, but Cas had just saved his life. It wasn’t unreasonable for him to be a little enamoured with his rescuer. And he did apologise, too. Dean really did seem like a nice person.

Maybe she was just feeling protective of Cas. Despite everything so obviously good about him, he had been through some very difficult times.

Or, perhaps it was something else. Was she jealous that she wasn’t the cause of the easy smile even now creeping back to the corner of Cas’s mouth?

She hoped to anyone who would listen that Dean was worthy of Cas’s attention.

* * *

 

Cas didn’t have a lot of close friends besides Hannah and Meg.

Hannah still spoke with Balthazar, Amara, Jo, Anna and Hester – they met up for drinks or sometimes a movie every couple weeks, either at a bar or at one of their houses -  but none of them besides her had been able to truly reconnect with Cas when he returned from college. Hannah had to watch as Cas struggled through each interaction, their old friends longing for Castiel as he once was, Cas feeling alien amongst their group. Neither side was really able to connect or be anything other than painfully polite.

Which made his immediate friendship with Dean Winchester all the odder.

Cas quickly began to spend all his free time with Dean. It was beginning to make Hannah feel bereft. Weren’t they best friends? Hadn’t they always been there for each other? Now Cas was running off at a moment’s notice to grab lunch with Dean. Inviting Dean to dinner at their house. Visiting the nearby cider farm together. Cas didn’t even seem to mind that Dean’s favourite car was a 1967 Impala, basically a pollution nightmare.

With only three weeks to the wedding, Hannah was beginning to feel the strain, trying to organise things without him.

She decided to confront him that evening.

“Hannah? What is it?”

“Cas. You know I love you right?”

“Of course. I love you too.”

“But we both know it isn’t the kind of romantic love they always talk about in the movies. It isn’t like Jo and Charlie. Or Alfie and Hael.”

“Well, no. But it’s still the strongest I’ve felt for anyone who isn’t actually related to me. Scratch that, actually, I like you better than I like Mom.”

“I know, Cas. I feel the same. Well. Except for the part about your mother.”

Cas smiled, taking her face between his hands. “What is this about, Hannah?” he asked.

Hannah paused, trying to gather her thoughts.

“Cas, I think you might have a crush on Dean.”

“What? Of course I don’t. Neither of us get crushes.”

“I know, just – just think about it for a second. You can barely go a full ten minutes without mentioning him. You smile whenever you see something green. You’ve been humming Metallica under your breath for days.”

“I – we’re friends. That’s all.”

“Cas. Please. I’ve known you nearly my whole life. You’ve never been this obsessed with anyone, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen you happier. Not since before—”

She cut herself off. Cas swallowed, his eyes darting to the floor.

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“Honestly? Yes.” Castiel opened his mouth as if to speak, but he couldn’t find words. “Cas, the way you’re acting now, it reminds me of Jo after she first saw Charlie. You look like you’re in love.”

“I’m not. Hannah, you’re my fiancé. I love you.”

“Just think about it.”

* * *

 

It was the next morning when Hannah heard Cas stumble into the kitchen. He paused by the doorway, long enough to cause concern. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw an odd look on his face.

“Cas? Are you going to sit down?”

Mechanically, he moved further into the room, settling at the table. Perhaps this was one of his quieter days. Hannah turned back to the counter, starting up the coffee machine and readying some toast.

It was nearly five minutes later, as she was adding sugar and cream to her own cup, that Cas spoke.

“Hannah. You were right.”

“About what?” she probed.

“I want to kiss Dean.”

Hannah paused, placing the teaspoon on the counter. She blinked down into the swirling coffee. Eventually, she grabbed both mugs and moved to sit across from Cas. He looked nearly agonised.

“I want to kiss him, Hannah. I think I want to do more, too. And when I walked in here, I wished for a second it was him making me coffee.”

Hannah breathed steadily, calmly, past the lump in her throat. Of course, they’d always known it was a possibility, but it just seemed so unlikely. Neither of them had even had a teensy bit of interest in dating another person. Getting married had been at least a little bit because it made things more convenient.

Being passed over, though. Who knew that would hurt so much?

“I see.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Cas. This is just one of those things that happens. People meet. Fall in love.”

Cas’s eyes were tearing up.

“Don’t worry. I’ll stop seeing him and this will go away. We can get married and go back to normal.”

“You really think that will do anything but break two hearts? How am I meant to live with myself, stopping you from pursuing the first person who ever put butterflies in your stomach?”

“Hannah—“

“We both know this was more a marriage for convenience rather than love. I don’t mind calling it off. It’s okay.”

Castiel’s shoulders slumped, and he fell back in his chair to stare at the ceiling.

“You have to promise me this, though.”

“What?”

“When you and Dean get married, you’re making me your maid of honour.”

Cas snorted. “Like that was even in question.”

Dean came by later that day, summoned by a text from Cas, profusely apologising for their break up. Hannah had to leave them to it. Seeing her now ex-fiance trying to reassure the man he probably loved was a bit much.

Later that day, she came home to find them snuggled together on the couch asleep as credits scrolled up the tv.

That night, while Cas was distracted in the kitchen, Dean tried once more to apologise, but this time apparently he thought it was his fault.

“I’m so sorry for this.”

“It’s fine, Dean. I’m the one who called things off.”

“I didn’t want to break you up or anything! I swear!”

“I believe you. Listen, Cas already told you the details, right? Cas and I are just good friends, not soulmates.”

“Yeah, but – I dunno.”

“Dean. Cas seems actually giddy every time he gets to spend time with you. I’m not getting in the way of that.”

She was really getting rather tired of reassuring people about the break-up. Both Dean and Cas were repeating the same points, over and over, lamenting their obvious happiness in each other and the pain they assumed it was causing her. Yes, the break-up hurt, but she wasn’t lying when she told Dean it was fine. Seeing Cas so animated and happy with Dean made Hannah feel happy, too, and that happiness was far greater than any anger or angst she felt about breaking off a wedding.

* * *

 

Calling off a wedding was a lot more hassle than it was worth.

Her parents were puzzled, at least until Balthazar began spreading rumours about the lovely man Cas had run away with.

Cas found it baffling, especially since he hadn’t run away anywhere. He even stayed at their shared apartment the first few days, though that changed the moment Dean invited him to share a bed.

It was strictly platonic, or so Cas claimed. Really, Hannah didn’t want to know the details.

One day, nearly three months after calling off their wedding, Hannah returned home to the sight of Cas and Dean on the couch, kissing. Rather enthusiastically at that. They were already rather closely entangled, and now hands were beginning to wander.

Hannah cleared her throat.

Cas yelped, tumbling off the couch onto the floor. Dean gave a squeak, trying to fold himself in half in some attempt to hide the evidence of his arousal from her sight.

Hannah only rolled her eyes, before making her way to the kitchen. She shrugged off her bag, rolling to shift the stiffness from her shoulders. Her nose scrunched as she checked the coffee in the machine – cold, several hours stale at least – before she set about making a new batch.

After a few minutes, Cas walked in. He no longer looked flustered, though his cheeks were still a little pink.

“Hello, Hannah.”

“Hey, Cas. Having fun?”

Cas grinned, ducking his head.

“It’s funny. Kissing just seems so normal when I’m with him.”

“I told you it was a crush.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cas waved in her general direction. He hummed to himself, settling at the table. “Sometimes he’ll sort of kiss my neck a little. It makes me feel so warm and loved. And then his hands start getting involved, and—”

“Cas, you’re oversharing again.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Hannah raised one eyebrow at his rather poor attempt to look penitent.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yeah, I’m not. I just – this is all so new and amazing for me, Hannah. I get that it isn’t your kind of thing, but—”

“But you want to gush about your boyfriend with someone other than Meg?”

Cas grimaced.

“Last time she asked if he gives good oral pleasure, and then if I could rent him out to her.”

Hannah snorted.

“At least she approves of him.”

“Yeah,” Cas sighed happily, glancing back in the direction of his bedroom, where she was sure Dean was now hiding.

“You’re getting that dreamy look again, Cas,” Hannah teased. Pouring her drink, she settled across from Cas. “What would you like for dinner, by the way? I assume you’re staying over? I was thinking ratatouille.”

“Sounds good. Would you like me to help?”

“No, it’s okay. Go spend some time with your boyfriend.”

“Maybe in a moment,” Cas smiled, resting his chin on one hand. “How was work?”

“Fine. We had a bit of difficulty with the Roman Enterprises representative again, but that’s par for course by now.”

“Edgar something, right?”

“Edgar Collins, and he is very dedicated to protecting Roman Enterprises’ assets. Especially when it comes to Roman’s reputation. I still cannot believe we managed to argue them down to actually providing a settlement.”

Cas snorted.

“Worth it though, right?”

“Yeah,” Hannah smiled, lifting her cup to test if it was cool enough to drink yet. “Yeah, definitely worth it.”

Cas was still grinning happily, his eyes dropped to the table where he was tracing the woodgrain with one finger. The quiet stretched between them, familiar and comfortable.

After a few minutes, he spoke.

“Hannah? I – I was wondering – what do you think of–” Cas paused, thinking over his words. “I want to make sure you are okay with everything. Dean and I, I mean.”

Hannah blinked.

“Of course I’m okay. I’m happy for you, Cas.”

“Not – don’t just say you’re pleased for me. I know you’re happy that I’m happy. I want to know what you’re feeling beyond mudita.”

 “Really, it’s fine. Honestly, I think it’s kind of cute, actually—”

“Hannah. Please.”

She paused, searching Cas’s expression. Sighing, she let her smile drop.

“I’m…okay. Not great, but – it does help, seeing how much you like him. It’s like one of those deep aches you get when you step up your exercise regime. It hurts, and it leaves me a little more exhausted than I’m used to, but I know it’s leading up to something even better. So I can endure it for now.”

Cas reached forwards to take her hand.

“Thank you, for sharing with me,” he replied. “And being so kind about everything.”

“Cas, I love you. And I love that you love Dean. But by Heaven above, can you stop apologising for it?”

And Cas was laughing.

* * *

 

Nearly a year after Dean and Castiel first met, Hannah found herself walking her closest friend down the aisle towards the love of his life. The ceremony didn’t really stick in her memory, distracted as she was by the look of adoration on Dean’s face as he gazed at his husband.

Later, as she watched their first dance, Hannah found herself standing beside Meg.

“Absolutely disgusting, aren’t they?” Meg sniggered, but her eyes were kind as she regarded them both. Hannah chuckled a little, glancing to her.

“Saccharine, perhaps.”

“Come on,” Meg cajoled. “Saccharine? Is that the best you can do? Look at the two of them, do they even realise there are other people here?”

“I think it’s nice. Cas deserves – they both deserve this. That kind of devotion.”

“Aw, are you tearing up?” Meg teased, sliding an arm across her shoulders.

“No.”

Meg cackled to herself, rocking them together as the happy couple finished their dance. Hannah endured it. Truthfully, she was rather fond of Meg’s energy, and it was no hassle to follow her out onto the dance floor. After a few more active songs, another slow romantic one had everyone pairing up. Meg shrugged, before drawing her into a close embrace as they swayed to the music.

“Do you think you’ll ever find a person you want to marry, Meg?” Hannah murmured to her dance partner.

Meg’s grin grew a little wider, but she was still quiet as she replied, “Nah. Marriage, romance, not really my thing.”

“Mine neither,” Hannah confessed.

“I guessed as much,” Meg replied. “I’ve been meaning to ask, actually. Want to accompany me on a completely-platonic couples getaway?”

“Sorry, a what?”

“A couples holiday. Like the kind these dweebs—” she gestured to where Dean and Cas were seated, whispering to each other. “—get to go on together. There’s this one at a castle in Scotland I’ve had my eye on, apparently it’s haunted or some crap like that. Want to join me?”

“Why?”

“Well, obviously, because you’re pretty awesome, and I like spending time with you.”

“Huh.”

“No need to answer immediately.”

“I guess I’ll think on it.”

“You better.”

Later, after sharing a few glasses of champagne and one or two tequila shots, Hannah found herself pondering and introspective at the edge of the room. Dean and Cas had long since said their last goodbyes and disappeared to begin their honeymoon. The party was beginning to wind down, but a few of the guests were onstage, singing karaoke. Hilariously, Meg was among them.

Life was good.

 


End file.
